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Breaking up with cheese and other matters of the heart

So, awhile ago someone wrote a book called “Who Moved My Cheese”, which, I think, was about change and the ability to respond and think outside the box.  I never read it because all I could think about when I saw the title was “if someone moved my cheese, I’d kill them!!!” Who in their right mind would move my cheese? I mean I have to have my cheese at least daily, and usually several times a day. When I’m finished with my string cheese, I’m thinking about my extra sharp white Irish Cheddar that is waiting for me at lunchtime.  Am I making myself clear? STEP AWAY FROM MY CHEESE!!  (spoken like a true addict) Oh lordy.

OK, so this all led me to be thinking about how Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Wedding) responded to questions about her weight loss by saying she had broken up with cheese (circuitous I know). Lately, I’ve been thinking of doing the same thing  (gasp) in my everlasting quest to shed these infernal pounds. But in doing so, it made me think of how really difficult it is to give up anything (or anyone) even when we know it’s the best. I mean, cheese tastes sooo good. I’ve been known to eat it at least 3 times a day (in many varieties too!!)  And while cheese has a bazillion fat grams,  clogs our arteries, and makes excess mucus (yuk), it can be utterly sublime.  Just like people.  I’m not talking about those people who we mutually hate, are completely over, can’t wait to dump. I’m talking about those people who, just like cheese, are seductive, compelling and downright YUMMY.  BUT, are absolutely going to clog our emotional arteries.  And who, when you think about it, are so delicious that you break out into a sweat when you think about NOT having that person.  THAT’S what I’m talking about!!  Oh scheesh, I’m breaking out in a sweat just thinking about this.

I’ve been there. Several times. Not lately, thank god!! But I remember.  So how do we take care of ourselves when we are faced with a really difficult decision to choose ourselves over our compulsions?  Here’s some tips:

#1. The Truth Will Set You Free: but first you have to tell yourself the truth. When I think about cheese, I know for a fact that, at this age in particular, I just can’t eat it like I used to. I have to face the facts. Cheese will contribute to inflammation of all kinds of things.  Yes it does. I’ve read it. It’s true.  In any relationship, the truth, if spoken with compassion, first to yourself, then to the other, will help you look at what is actually going on, as opposed to what you keep hoping is going on.

#2. Commitment: My dear friend Len Merson at http://www.chaosover.com  (check out his website) once told me that if I wanted to be thin, I would be. I just hadn’t made the commitment yet.  At first, I was a little affronted (as my granny used to say). But when I thought about it, he was absolutely right. I had (have) yet to make a total commitment to my health, weight management, and well-being. I am still bargaining. I am still living in “I’m not totally worth it” land. When I’m finally able to totally commit to my own well being, I will give up cheese, no matter what.  Same with people. When I tell the truth to myself, and make myself important enough to commit to what’s best for me, I will be able to let go of whatever is holding me back.

#3: Courage: It is really hard to face being alone. It’s feels like nothing (or no one) will ever take the place of cheese (this person).  Remember that the world is full of interesting things.  Be adventurous!!  Get support from people who love you and hold your best interest in their hearts.

#4: DON’T SLEEP WITH THEM AGAIN!!!!!!!  nuff said.

#5: Repeat #4.  I mean it!!!

#6: Try Other Things:  I’ve been cooking a lot  lately (I know, I know, scary!) and have discovered that there are a lot of interesting alternatives to cheese. Things that are creamy, rich, satisfying. It helps me grieve my loss. So go out and try new things, people (get your mind OUT of the gutter, that’s NOT what I mean!!).  I hear you can meet a lot of interesting people sky diving!!  Or book clubs. You catch my drift.

Breaking up with anything (anyone) can test us at our most basic fears and insecurities.  But by being honest, putting our own best interest first, getting support, avoid being seduced and facing the world with courage, letting go of cheese can be a breeze!!  Maybe.

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